Sure, other people might make different decisions, but other people don't know how to use balloon animals to unsettle people. And other than that, what's a man got, if not his dignity?

If they invented libraries today, they'd be outlawed immediately. A bipartisan group would stand before Congress and rail indignantly against these wild-eyed communist librarians who, they'll claim, are an attack on democracy and such. I mean, how dare people share things?

If I am ever renditioned to El Salvador in consequence a fairly innocuous tweet about the synthetic nature of Donald Trump’s hair, I will be the least surprised.