romanceLook - I'm not saying I don't have issues but when I showed today's card to the guy who delivers my mail he embraced me, burst into tears and declared himself 'expressed'. I showed it to the guy in Starbucks and he grasped my hand firmly, called me brother and announced my lattes would be free forever or his life would be forfeit. It's not all that bad being a spiritual leader some days.
mothers dayI'm ignoring our re-hash Wednesday tradition and posting a new card today because, well, I have the power to do so and because I am the boss. Being a boss is like being a king except instead of bringing you courtesans they bring you tea. Today's card is about Mother's Day. I'm sorry I mentioned courtesans before. Sometimes I say things that are a little bit inappropriate. It's a bit of a secret.
mothers dayI had a pretty normal childhood even though I was raised by my Nanna after my parents were kidnapped by lizard people. Nanna was in the underground before our side surrendered, and she had to live in 'psychic hiding' (constant inebriation) to avoid detection by mind scanners. So coming up with Mothers Day cards is, of course, a bit tricky. But what I like about this card is that it is reassuring.
mothers dayPeople often say to me: "Who are you?! And how did you get in here?" And I say: "Sorry, wrong house!" and apologize for eating their yogurt. People also say to me, "you're a good son, your Mother must be proud!" and then I have to explain that I was raised by my grandmother who fed me lizards. And people wonder why I like the taste of yogurt so much.
babyCongratulating people whenever they contribute to the human over-population problem is an important, profitable niche in the greeting card market. I may suck at inventing business concepts (cards that you shouldn't send to anyone?) but I'm going all out to meet my professional obligations today.
workplaceHow can it be Wednesday? Why this abundance of Wednesdays in my life, and why so few Fridays? I read recently that people who believe in a sense of universal justice are on average 3% happier than those who don't. And I don't. So I have to compensate by eating 5% more ice cream. It's a pity that this re-hash Wednesday card doesn't mention ice cream or this would all be on topic.
cheer up"Why did you just take a photo of me?" he asked. "Who knows why I do anything?" I replied. "Just don't be putting me in any more wrongcards." "I'd never do that," I said firmly. "You did one that said I smoked weed at work." "Maybe it was your imaginary friend," I said. "I don't have one," he replied. "Funny you should think that..."
birthday“But do you understand it?” I asked a friend. He said, ”I'm seeing a birthday zebra that's troubled by its temporary individuality, isolation and detachment, but will happily return to the unremarkable anonymity of herd experience tomorrow”. I looked at him and said: “Actually I just wanted to draw a zebra."
