Instilling Fear

Kids these days aren't sufficiently scared of bears. Think about it. We, as a species, seem to think we have nature completely beat because most of us don't sleep outdoors anymore. But it's when you've stopped being afraid of bears that you know your civilization is on the decline. Because we used to be really afraid of bears and it worked. We got through that last Ice Age, we've lived out in the cold and the wilderness and our ancestors carved numerous civilizations out of nothing but a few rocks and stone tools. And then, at some point, we all just stopped being afraid of then bears. How did it happen?

I'll tell you. It starts when parents tell their kids a lot of propaganda about how bears and people get together in the woods and have picnics. That's when you know we've had it. That's how we know the writing is on the wall.

If I ever have kids, then every few weeks I am going to dress up as a grizzly and scare the living crap out of 'em. My progeny won't even be able to even enter a room without preparing some sort of subconscious ninjitsu-escape-contingency-plan just in case of Unexpected Entry of Bear.

However unlikely.

I mean, we still read the stupid pamphlets in the backs of our seats on airplanes. We half-heartedly watch the videos.

Anyway, in general, this is why most parents aren't good at parenthood: they're too nervous to approach this topic. They're all too busy trying to be perfect, positive role models instead of passing on really useful phobias to children. Phobias that kept our ancestors alive long enough to procreate back in the cold, unsheltered primordial days of yore. This is why we should give children phobias. It'll help them survive in a complex and worrisome world.

Hell, I wouldn't be the man I am today if my parents hadn't occasionally dressed up as clowns and thrown knives at me.

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