birthday ecards

About this category

So you need to send an appropriate birthday card? So okay, you're in the wrong place - or are you? As far as e-cards go, our cards do offer the tactical advantage of being free. Besides, as alliterative folks of means might suggest, the spending of shekels is but a sad substitute for sincerely-stated sentiment; 'tis even somewhat silly. Birthday wishes should be sent with a free card, and these are very best free birth day cards that money can't buy.

Like this page:
Most recent birthday ecard

comrade lenin birthday wishes birthday ecards

comrade lenin wishes you happy birthday
send

insufficient birthday ecards

Birthdays are a chore, especially if you're like me and celebrate your Birthday every couple of months with a different group of friends. I find there's safety in numbers. Of identities.
send

long term plans birthday ecards

Happy Birthday. The other good news is that your need need to make long-term plans is decreasing year by year.
Did you know only 12 million Americans believe that the USA is secretly run by lizard people? It's a very disappointing statistic but lizards are good at disinformation. Today's wrongcard is for birthdays so why, then, am I talking about lizard people? Oh who knows why I do anything.
send

spiders are sensitive birthday ecards

Be careful when you are cutting your birthday cake in case in contains a nest of spiders. Lunging at spiders with a knife might make them misinterpret the situation.
It's someone's birthday today, maybe not yours or mine but it's someone's; it's commonsense. I know lots about people and most of what I know about people I learned from spiders. Though wasps, when you think about it, are a kind of winged spider. Spiders don't hum like wasps, they just whistle. Nobody really knows why.
send

willingness to learn birthday ecards

As you get older, plastic surgery can be prohibitively expensive,and wasteful if you already have a friend who has a book on the subject, a pair of scissors and a willingness to learn new skills.
I'll go ahead and admit it: today's card is silly. Usually I like to keep things pretty serious here because we live in grave, uncertain times and I don't want anyone to think I'm a frivolous person. Still, I can joke about cosmetic surgery because I'd never spoil a surprise. People love surprises. "Wake up! While you were sleeping I fixed your nose! Now you have two!" I am awesome at friendship...
send

birthday heart birthday ecards

Happy Birthday. And remember: heart disease kills about one in every four people.
If you know someone who is having a birthday right now you have to send them today's wrongcard. Because it's, like, Providence or something that this card should appear in your life and you have to do it. To ignore Providence is like ignoring God. And we don't do that, okay, because there will be floods and I'll have to build an Ark. If I build an Ark I'm not inviting any bears on-board. Screw that.
send

the one with the rat birthday ecards

In accordance with some societal conventions that I surmised all by myself, I am sending you a card with the words HAPPY BIRTHDAY written on it. Here is a picture of a dead rat. Clip art is expensive.
It's a good rule of thumb that you should always be nice to other people or else they won't give you a piece of cake on their birthdays. You can elect not to be nice and instead sneak into their houses and eat their cake while they're sleeping but take it from me, Cake Burgling is not the caper-filled dream job that we all grew up hoping it would be. So be nice to people today, okay? And send this card to someone!
send

midnight contract birthday ecards

Happy Birthday. And if at midnight a demon appears in your room talking about some contract I supposedly signed in your name, just ignore him. He is not to be taken seriously and is merely confused.
I hate seeing humanoids with black eyeballs. It makes it so much harder to relate to them. Now I'm not a judgmental person (except when I take an instant dislike to someone because I don't like their hat) but if I see a reptilian creature with bat wings I cross the street. I think it's because I don't want to get caught up in all their drama.
send

canine motif birthday ecards

Happy Birthday. Right: Picture of a dog holding someone's hand.
"You didn't give me a Birthday card," she said. "Oh that's right, your Birthday is in September. When is it exactly?" "It was two weeks ago." "Hmm, I should buy you a card." "You OWN a greeting card company!" "That's right, I do - so can I make you a card, then? It's just that it would be cheaper for me." "Alright," she said, "but I want it to be a nice card. A picture of a puppy or something."
send

birthday zebra birthday ecards

You have left the mainstream experience, you are disuniting from the collective, you are undergoing dissociation. Happy Birthday.
“But do you understand it?” I asked a friend. He said, ”I'm seeing a birthday zebra that's troubled by its temporary individuality, isolation and detachment, but will happily return to the unremarkable anonymity of herd experience tomorrow”. I looked at him and said: “Actually I just wanted to draw a zebra."
send

identical boxes birthday ecards

Happy Birthday. You're going to get old and live in one of thousands of identical boxes and then get sad and die. But today is not the day to think about that, ok?
Do you know anybody having a birthday this weekend? If so, this is not really the best card to send them. Unless you're giving them a completely rubbish present and you want to draw attention away from it. I once gave someone a chocolate bar wrapped up in gift paper, but that was before chocolate bars got so expensive.
send